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Thought I’d share the new  meaning  in light of the financial crisis we are going through.


CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer. 
 CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer. 
 BULL MARKET
— A random market movement causing an investor to
mistake himself for a financial genius. 
 BEAR MARKET
— A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. 
 VALUE INVESTING
— The art of buying low and selling lower. 
 P/E RATIO
— The percentage of investors wetting their pants
as the market keeps crashing. 
 BROKER
— What my broker has made me. 
 STANDARD & POOR
— Your life in a nutshell. 
 STOCK ANALYST
— Idiot who just downgraded your stock. 
 STOCK SPLIT
— When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
assets equally between themselves. 
 FINANCIAL PLANNER
– A guy whose phone has been disconnected. 
 MARKET CORRECTION
— The day after you buy stocks. 
 CASH FLOW
— The movement your money makes as it disappears
down the toilet. 
 YAHOO
— What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
for $240 per share. 
 WINDOWS
— What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who
bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. 
 INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR
— Past year investor who’s now locked
up in a nuthouse.  

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

 

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